Why you should pay attention in history class

Because one day you'll be headed into a grocery store, with nothing but milk and paper towels on your mind, and you'll be approached by a junior high student carrying a clipboard. He'll ask, innocently enough, if you'd be willing to participate in a short survey for his history class. You'll be feeling agreeable, and so you'll say yes. Then his friend will whip out a video camera, and you'll realize that you made a mistake, but you'll tell yourself that it would be foolish to refuse to cooperate now. After all--how bad can it be?

And then you'll spend the following excruciating moments answering question after question with "Wow, yeah, I recognize that name, but--" followed by "I don't remember." Maybe because instead of listening during history, you were drawing hearts with some boy's initials on your notebook, penning your name with his last name, writing poetry. All those names and dates--in one ear and out the other. (Sorry Courtney.) And in that moment you will feel stupid. Really, really stupid. You might even ask yourself how it is that you managed to raise a family of bright children having such a low intellect yourself.

The boys will stifle giggles behind their notebooks. You'll picture yourself on some late night TV show, or youtube video. You know the kind. The boys will attempt to encourage you. "You were close," they'll say when you miss the date by a mere 200 years.

So the bottom line is--pay attention on that sunny afternoon right after lunch when everything but school is calling you and you wonder why you need to know whose picture is on a twenty dollar bill. Trust me. One day you'll be glad you listened.