Top Eleven Things I Wish They'd Teach Salesmen:
11. Don't ask to come in my house. If you absolutely must come in my house, make sure you have someone with you. Preferably a woman. And show me your ID. You may be a nice guy, but I don't know that.
10. Be scrupulously honest in what you tell me. If you tell me your demonstration will take ten minutes, it'd better be ten minutes. I'll be watching the clock. If you say you'll clean my carpet, then clean it. (If there's a contingency clause--like "if you buy the vacuum") say so. Before I move the furniture.)
9. I don't care what my neighbors bought. Keeping up with the Jones' really doesn't apply when it comes to cleaning products and magazine subscriptions.
8. Don't ask me about my neighbors. I'm not going to tell you their names and occupations, or if they have small children. I know what you're doing, and I don't want you to manipulate my friends.
7. Cut the small talk. We both know that you don't care about my life, so don't waste my time asking me about my hobbies. Let's cut to the chase and let me get back to what I was doing before you rang my doorbell.
6. Don't try to be funny. If you were truly funny, you'd be making a living in stand-up comedy, instead of selling vacuums. So skip the whole "you can sweep me off the porch with a broom" routine.
5. Don't tell me this offer is only good for the next ten minutes. Leave me a brochure with a phone number and let me think about it--I might even call you back!
4. No means no. Don't force me to be rude. Remember Mr. Collins in Pride and Prejudice? When I say no, I'm not being coy. I just don't want it. So please ignore the "rule of thumb" that says you have to hear no three times before you take it seriously.
3. When I do say no, don't be rude. Let's make a deal: I'll say no pleasantly, and you accept it graciously.
2. Don't try to make me feel guilty. I don't care if you grew up on the south side of Chicago and have an anger management problem you're trying to overcome. I don't care if you're earning a trip to Disneyland and I'm the last sale you need. I had seven kids of my own to keep off the streets, out of trouble, and get into college--don't try to make me feel responsible for you too!
1. Have a product worth selling. That's what sales is all about--the PRODUCT! Not you. Not your background. Not your hopes and dreams. Save that for people who care. Just tell me what you're selling. Tell me what it costs and ask me if I want it. It'll save us both some time.
Quote of the day: "Your neighbor said she needed another magazine like she needed a hole in the head, but she still bought one to help me out."
My apologies to good salesmen out there (Tom). I'm sorry so many who went before you have given sales a bad name. Here's my suggested door approach: "Hi, I'm _________ and I'm selling ____________. Are you interested in learning more about this product? Thanks for your time and have a good day."
