Catching up and Celebrating the Unplanned!

I've been without internet access for a couple of lonely, sad months, with only brief moments here and there when I've tried to snatch a few moments at someone else's computer and tried to reconnect.  Such is the case now:  I find myself in Tucson with a computer at my disposal, and having deleted all the hundreds of read and unread emails, I think it's time for a short update to my readers--whoever, or wherever they may be!

It's nearly a new year, and like every other year, and with some time away from the routine, I find myself thinking about change.  Not to be confused with resolutions because that sounds so like everyone else (and--let's be honest--so won't happen).  Stuff I just need to do because. Here's to a fabulous 2009 that's filled with many accomplishments:  becoming healthy, becoming organized, and seeing my name on the cover of a book.  Taking control of my life in the smallest ways:  the inevitable five o'clock dinner question comes to mind as well as about a hundred other little things that just need to be planned. 

For instance, why can't I meet a December 1 deadline if I can meet a December 25 deadline?  It's questions like that which have been occupying my mind lately.  

As for celebrating the unplanned, we were the happy hosts of unhappy Christmas guests who wanted to be elsewhere but were determined to make the most of a situation which was beyond their control.  We loved sharing Christmas with Eric, Briana, Elena, and Danielle!  Thanks for hanging out with us!  And now we're enjoying a few impulsive days in Tucson, giving horsie rides to the grandkids and playing games with their parents!  So good to see Christy, Tom & Sophie and Jenny, Eric, Parker, Caleb & Maren.  Thanks for letting us crash your party!

Tomorrow we return to the snow, our young single adult kids, our puppy and our routine, our cups filled and ready to go to work!  

Happy New Year!

Kai--tender mercy or dirty animal?

The downside:
1) She sheds. Brushing and vacuuming help, but still, she sheds.

2) She smells like a dog, especially when wet. Bathing helps, but still, she smells like a dog, especially when it's been a week.

3) What goes in must come out, and nobody particularly enjoys yard duty.

The upside:
1) She loves you no matter what you do. When she can choose to be anywhere she wants, she'll choose to be with you. Guaranteed: nobody else will mourn your absence or greet your return with as much enthusiasm as she will. Even if you ignore her.

2) She's always up for a game, and you get to choose when, where and what. No need to negotiate or compromise. If you want to go somewhere or do something, she's always excited to join you.

3) She's a gentle alarm clock for sleepy sons! A snuggle and wet kiss coax reluctant wakers from their beds a lot easier than the whole plethera of clock radios, snooze buttons, squirt bottles and yelling/shaking/threatening/begging routines.

4) She's an empathetic listener when you're feeling sad, and she'll never interrupt or tell you you're wrong.

5) Her number one goal in life is to please you! Who else can you say that about?

I was thinking about this one day when I noticed her dirty paw prints crossing my clean kitchen floor, and it hit me--the simple truth: it's a choice. I thought of all the furry and not so furry creatures who have shared our home over the years, and realized that--while I would love to have a floor that stays clean and a house that always smells sweet--I choose life with what Julie called "the best toy" and Danny called "a tender mercy." The love and the joy makes the inconvenience worth it.

What is wrong with this picture?

Waiting at the checkout stand last night, I surveyed the magazine covers--and this caught my attention: Clay Aiken with an infant. The headline: "Yes, I'm gay!" From the smaller print, apparently the new dad has decided he has to be honest with the little one, as well as the rest of the world.

Say what? Something about this picture just isn't working for me!

What a crazy, mixed up world we live in!

One Hundred Words

That's it. I've been sitting in front of this computer screen for close to two hours and all I have to show for it is about 100 words. How can it be that something so much a part of me, something that screams to be heard--can be so much like pulling teeth some days?! I feel like whoever it was (a name you would recognize) who, the story is told, was found distraught one day and asked, "How many words did you get today?" He said something like "five" and then wailed, "But I don't know what order they go in."

But I'm so close! I've passed my 60,000 word goal, the characters are converging and the plot is winding down. Why is it so hard now?

P.S. I have yet to hear a single title suggestion . . .

Family Reunion at Bear Lake

The Ferris Wheel Ride

The carnival came to town last week. I was running errands with my 88 year old mother when she saw it spread over what used to be the library lawn. "I always loved the carnival," she said.

A day or so later we were traveling the same road when she commented on the carnival again.
"Wouldn't it be fun to ride the ferris wheel again."

"Would you do it?" I asked. She didn't answer.

And so Saturday afternoon, we kidnapped Mom and Dad and took them to the carnival. We sat on a bench and ate cajun shrimp and snow cones and watched the people go by.

And Mom and I rode the ferris wheel. We laughed at the sign that warned about rocking the car (while our car rocked) and waved at Dad and Alan as they watched from below. She told me about riding the rollar coaster with her first beau. And I thought about life and love and being young and growing old and the eternal circle of things.

"I haven't been on a ferris wheel in fifty years!" she said.

There are moments when you know you are doing the right thing. And that was one of them.

A Perfect Day!

Congrats to Julie!

Springville High Graduation, May 28

Coming Home!

I've been really struggling with feeling depressed, of all things. My problem is that I wanted everything to be perfect when Elder Danny reappeared. And it's not. And it won't be. I had this goal--this end-point--when the house would be perfectly organized and decorated, all the boxes in the garage emptied and put away, and I would be thirty pounds skinnier instead of ten pounds heavier than when he left. The dog-chewed blinds would be replaced, trees would be planted, and the carpet would be cleaned. Like he's excited to come home so that he can see the house, right?! Silly me. I'm revising my goals by the day, and pretty soon I think my list is going to read "clean the bathrooms!"

We loved our Sunday phone call. I didn't even try to keep the conversation away from "TWO WEEKS!" Yes, it made him trunky, but he's just going to have to deal with that. He asked if we could have chicken enchiladas and chocolate ice cream when he gets home. I think I can arrange that. He also sounded really surprised that everyone is coming from out-of-town to see him. Like he doesn't know he's a celebrity around here!!!!

SIXTEEN DAYS--wahoo! (Does that mean that I can pick sixteen projects and do one a day and . . . oh wait, there's a couple of Sundays in there, and then there's my daughter's high school graduation, and the two projects she wants me to help her finish so she can get her Young Woman Recognition award, and Andrew's baseball games and everyone else arriving before Danny--which takes my target date to twelve days, and . . . Give it up, Liz. It's not going to happen. Stick with cleaning the bathrooms. It's more realistic.)

Totally and Unabashedly Addicted

And I never watch TV. It's true. Ask those who know me best. In fact, that box in the living room is the only thing I have ever had violent fantasies about, fantasies which involve baseball bats and pruning sheers--not in the same fantasy, by the way.

But here I am, watching American Idol every week. Totally addicted. And if that's not enough, I've found that the night just isn't complete without at least one episode of 24. Of course, that's on a DVD, so does it still count? Probably, since it had its beginnings on TV.

But the upside is that AI is somewhat self-limiting and I get to see my married kids more (since I offer a free meal for anyone who will participate with me). As for 24--let's just put it this way. The show puts my life in perspective. Anything that goes wrong, I can always say, "It could be worse. I could be Jack." "Had a bad day? Try Jack's."

So that's not all bad, is it?

Why Salesmen Get Doors Slammed in Their Faces (by a normally nice lady)

Top Eleven Things I Wish They'd Teach Salesmen:

11. Don't ask to come in my house. If you absolutely must come in my house, make sure you have someone with you. Preferably a woman. And show me your ID. You may be a nice guy, but I don't know that.

10. Be scrupulously honest in what you tell me. If you tell me your demonstration will take ten minutes, it'd better be ten minutes. I'll be watching the clock. If you say you'll clean my carpet, then clean it. (If there's a contingency clause--like "if you buy the vacuum") say so. Before I move the furniture.)

9. I don't care what my neighbors bought. Keeping up with the Jones' really doesn't apply when it comes to cleaning products and magazine subscriptions.

8. Don't ask me about my neighbors. I'm not going to tell you their names and occupations, or if they have small children. I know what you're doing, and I don't want you to manipulate my friends.

7. Cut the small talk. We both know that you don't care about my life, so don't waste my time asking me about my hobbies. Let's cut to the chase and let me get back to what I was doing before you rang my doorbell.

6. Don't try to be funny. If you were truly funny, you'd be making a living in stand-up comedy, instead of selling vacuums. So skip the whole "you can sweep me off the porch with a broom" routine.

5. Don't tell me this offer is only good for the next ten minutes. Leave me a brochure with a phone number and let me think about it--I might even call you back!

4. No means no. Don't force me to be rude. Remember Mr. Collins in Pride and Prejudice? When I say no, I'm not being coy. I just don't want it. So please ignore the "rule of thumb" that says you have to hear no three times before you take it seriously.

3. When I do say no, don't be rude. Let's make a deal: I'll say no pleasantly, and you accept it graciously.

2. Don't try to make me feel guilty. I don't care if you grew up on the south side of Chicago and have an anger management problem you're trying to overcome. I don't care if you're earning a trip to Disneyland and I'm the last sale you need. I had seven kids of my own to keep off the streets, out of trouble, and get into college--don't try to make me feel responsible for you too!

1. Have a product worth selling. That's what sales is all about--the PRODUCT! Not you. Not your background. Not your hopes and dreams. Save that for people who care. Just tell me what you're selling. Tell me what it costs and ask me if I want it. It'll save us both some time.

Quote of the day: "Your neighbor said she needed another magazine like she needed a hole in the head, but she still bought one to help me out."

My apologies to good salesmen out there (Tom). I'm sorry so many who went before you have given sales a bad name. Here's my suggested door approach: "Hi, I'm _________ and I'm selling ____________. Are you interested in learning more about this product? Thanks for your time and have a good day."

Too many babies!

Last night at Eric & Briana's we were just crawling with babies!

Birthdays and other stuff

Andrew & Elena

Julie--what's it called when you can talk on two phones at the same time?

Grandma & Elena

Andrew's birthday party

American Idol Recap

The results are in, and it looks like everyone but me will be bringing treats for our next AI party, next Tuesday at 7:00! Yes, it's true, I was the only one who picked two of the bottom three.

For anyone who's interested, we've started having AI parties, to watch the show and do our own bit of voting. Each of us picks who we think the bottom three will be, and who will go home. The next night we add up the score: 5 points if you pick the winner (or in this case, the loser) plus one point for everyone you picked in the bottom three. Low score wins the privilege of providing treats next week.

Anyone who wants to join us, just give me a call! The show starts at 7 Tuesday (and dinner before is optional!).

Shocking Statistics Support my Soapbox!

Don't you love the alliteration? Okay, I just had to do that.

So, yesterday we had a training meeting at work, and I found a couple of statistics quite interesting. A little discouraging, but interesting.

One school (granted, this is one school, so it's not a huge cross-section) asked the question--is what we're doing to help kids who are below grade level working? Guess what they found out? For ninety-five percent of them, the answer was no. They went through the records and identified the kids who had had interventions early in elementary school and then tracked them as they progressed through the years. So how many made it out of "the system?" Only five percent.

Another interesting statistic. To maintain grade level in reading, a child needs to read 20 minutes a day. That's him reading, not including any time he's read to. For a child to jump a grade level, he needs to read 45 minutes a day--per level. So, if you have a fourth grader who is reading on a second grade level, it's going to take him reading 90 minutes every day to catch him up! And let's be honest, that's not going to happen. Instead, by the time he's in fourth grade, he has so many self-esteem issues tied up with reading, that he's going to avoid that painful experience like the plague.

Remembering . . .

Thirty years ago I was twenty years old and about two weeks into dating my sweetheart and embroiled in the trauma of breaking up with my old boyfriend who had just barely returned from his mission. A very happy, sad, exciting time! I was serving as the RS secretary in our singles ward.
Twenty years ago I was living in Payson with five children, ages 9 months to 8 years, and I was very heavily into 24/7 parenting. Danny had just had tubes put in his ears, and we were in the middle of putting together the ward's road show. I was serving as RS secretary in our ward.
Ten years ago I was working at Mt. Loafer elementary as a Skill Building coach and within a month of delivering Andrew. We had moved back to Springville, and Jenny was a senior in high school. And yes, I was serving in the RS presidency, this time as a counselor.
Five years ago I was at home full-time with Andrew (who was almost five). I was doing a neighborhood preschool with him. Jenny was married, Eric was in Venezuela on a mission, and Christy had just announced her decision to serve a mission. Amy was a senior, Danny was a sophomore and Julie was in 7th grade. I was heavily into teenagers, and was probably making a dress for Amy for some dance!
Three years ago we had just returned from our trip to Guatemala and I was a first-time grandma, mother to a married daughter, three young single adults, two teenagers and a first grader! I was serving as Relief Society president, working part-time at Westside, and learning first-hand what it feels like to be in a pinball machine! Danny was a senior, so I was probably watching him perform in choir, band, jazz band, dance, a capella, drama, d'males, or something else.
So far this year I took down the Christmas decorations, fixed about sixty dinners, washed about a hundred loads of laundry, worked every day at Westside, teaching kids how to add and subtract two numbers, how to tell time, and how to count money--and a few other things. I was released as RS president and called as a primary teacher and member of the activities committee--and I organized the ward's Valentine's dinner-dance. I've driven hundreds of miles --mostly back and forth between Springville schools--and listened for hundreds of hours to people I love. I've read Coraline to Andrew and The Host to myself and I made a baby quilt for Elena. I've snuggled my granddaughters, and talked to my grandsons on the phone, written emails and letters, and driven my parents to doctor appointments and hair appointments. I've shopped and paid bills and even tried kickboxing and yoga a couple of times!
Yesterday I went to work, did a load of laundry, chaperoned Julie & Malachi, fixed a lousy dinner (sorry family), wrote 1000 words, and had FHE. I also taught Andrew long division just for fun.
Today I went to Andrew's spelling bee, then to 7-11 for gas, then to work, then to the high school, then to Sunroc, then to Andrew's Blue & Gold Banquet where he received his Bear and I received my pin. Then I went grocery shopping, back to Sunroc, and then home again. Between driving, I wrote 300 words, did the dishes, and helped Andrew make cookies for Scouts tonight. I also helped Andrew find his scout shirt, which was no small task. It was in the toy box, covered with toys.
Tomorrow I plan to write, go to work, pick up Julie, make visiting teaching appointments, take care of Elena, and go to Julie's New Beginnings. I also need to find time to give Grandpa a haircut and I want to watch American Idol.
This year I hope to finish my book and submit it to a publisher, learn to love primary, get my house completely organized and in order, scrapbook, lose weight, and enjoy a perfect summer with Danny back home again!

Beauty comes in all different packages

Three adorable granddaughters!


The morning after our last snowstorm!

Grandpa and Grandma!
Julie, ready for the Sweetheart Dance, holding Sophie.

Best Weekend Ever!

First there was the dinner-dance Friday night, and aside from a few minor blips, it was a huge success! High moments included watching Amy & Ryan tap dance, Eric & Briana cha cha, Kyle Dugovic break dance and Fawn Killpack fast dance! Dancing my favorite dance, the West Coast Swing, with Eric also has to be at the top of the list, as well as dancing with my forever sweetheart.

It was great to see it all come together (i.e. everybody else do their jobs!) with the decorations, cooking the food, bringing desserts by the trillions, and just showing up dressed to kill! People even stayed after the closing prayer and kept dancing until the guy came for his equipment! And--we had several "singles" come, which pleased me greatly. It definitely was "an evening to remember" and people in the ward are asking about another one. (I think we'll call it "Another evening to remember.") I've had a couple of nights sleep, so I'm up for it :)

Saturday was a great day to lay around and not do much. Knowing that Monday was coming (and another day off) I didn't even have to feel guilty about the lack of doing. Dad and I spent some time listening to music (including "our song" which Dad had found, but didn't play Friday night) and flying "A" dog.

Saturday night was Mr. Springville: another fun night

watching Julie announce and "her man" perform. They both did wonderfully.

And Sunday is always good, but especially so because 1) we went to Ben's homecoming, 2) we went to 1st ward to hear Dad's amazing talk, 3) I didn't teach primary--i.e. no small children tried to stick my fingers in their mouths! and 4) I am anticipating an evening with my children, eating yummy food and playing games--without even having to clean up or fix much of the food! Thanks Briana!

And tomorrow is another day full of great possibilities--including, and not to be underestimated--being able to sleep in and reading Danny's email!

Life just doesn't get better than this!

Soapbox speech for all those who are raising the next generation

This year at work I have been given a unique perspective which has made me pretty passionate about teaching kids the basics. Let me explain. My job title is Title One Technician (and playground supervisor, but that's food for another diatribe on another day!). What I do is tutor kids. Reteach stuff they didn't get the first time. Mostly I teach math, and I work with students in almost every grade, 1st through 5th. I've also been part of the team which tested every student in the school in reading.

So here are my observations:

The first few years are so important. Kids learn to read in first and second grade. If they don't get it then, it's unlikely that they'll ever catch up. An interesting statistic we were given was that prisons are planned and built based on the illiteracy rate of second graders! When we tested every student in the school, I learned that there isn't that much difference between a very fluent second grader and a sixth grader. It's like--they either have it, or they don't.

As for math, it's absolutely critical that they master the basic skills. The last few weeks, I've been teaching 5th graders graphing and order of operations. But you know the challenge? Why they are at the bottom of their classes? Because they can't add 8 + 2 without using their fingers. When they see 3 x 3, they draw circles and put dots in them to figure it out. Fifth graders are learning long division and manipulating decimals and fractions. How can these students possibly move forward? And the point is, they don't. They've mastered the ability to avoid doing the work--yet their lives would be so much easier if they would just buckle down and memorize!

But it doesn't start in 5th grade. The last couple of months I've been working with 3rd graders on learning their multiplication facts. Sometimes their teachers show them "tricks" to help them learn. But I fear that sometimes those tricks can become crutches which will later paralyze them. The simple fact is, they just have to do the work of memorizing. It's been interesting to walk directly from working with the 5th graders to the 3rd graders--seeing what will happen two years down the road if they don't get it now.

But it doesn't start there either. I also work with first graders who can't count past ten, and with second graders who can't add 3 +1 without drawing lines on their paper and then counting them.

So from this perspective, I offer a few humble suggestions to the keepers of the next generation. And these are things that every parent can do.

I probably don't need to remind any of you to read and read and read and read to them. Help them to see that there are wonderful worlds to be found within the pages of a book! Of course, you're teaching them the alphabet and the sounds letters make. And when they start to read, keep reading with them.

Some of the early math skills may not be so obvious. Here are some suggestions. Of course, you're teaching them to count. When they've mastered counting their blocks, try counting the blocks by twos. Let your kids play with money. Help them count it. Show them that four quarters equals a dollar. More than any other early math skill, it is so obvious which kids have handled money and which ones haven't--and those who haven't, really struggle to learn how to count money. Counting dimes and nickles and pennies (two at a time) will also help them learn to count by tens and fives and twos. Talk about time with them. Have a regular clock someplace and ask them which number the big hand is pointing to. Introduce them to adding and subtracting and, as they become older, help them become automatic with number combinations. These simple things can make a huge difference!

Okay, now I'll climb off my soapbox. Thanks for listening.

A Day in the Snow!

Blogging at 1:a.m.

I've finally figured out why we had so many bedtime battles. Nobody ever wanted to go to bed. Of course, nobody ever wanted to get up either, but that's beside the point. Anyway, it just hit me why no one wanted to go to bed. It's a simple case of genes. And you all got mine. Why, I ask myself. It just doesn't make sense. Why am I sitting here, blogging at 1:a.m. when I could be snuggled up in my bed?

I think the answer lies somewhere between the challenge of walking up the stairs and taking off my make-up.

Ah well, I'll stop stalling and make the trek.

Love you all, and good night.