It began with my dear husband. Putting it bluntly, I'm talking about the lies. Lies, done in good humor, it is true, but nevertheless, lies.
There was the time when I was a pregnant newlywed that he told me his bishop's wife had invited him to witness her labor and delivery. It wasn't until I cried that he confessed that he was lying. As our family grew, he insisted that he had been Highlander in his previous life. I think some of the kids actually believed him. And in more recent years, many of you will recall the traditional Conference "shake session" lies: he punched a protester, a temple was being built in Jackson County, Elder Holland and Elder Bednar were called to serve in Jerusalem . . . and on they go.
Of course, like father, like daughter, Jenny added her own list of little white lies: the time she told a date that Andrew was her son instead of her brother; the time she went on a double date, found out that the other young man in the group was a BYU art model, and told him she was an art major and he looked really familiar.
Then we might remember all the dating pictures . . . including, of course, the one of Amy & Eric, which they framed in a Prom 2002 frame, placed in Amy's apartment living room, and waited to see how long it would take the ward members to figure out that they weren't really dating. Of course there was the legendary cockroach in a shoulder story, and the time Amy told Ryan she was 17, when she was really 21.
I could go on, but I think I've made my point.
Which brings me to our most recent piece of deception. Our sweet little Andrew teamed up with the neighbor girl, Melissa Jensen. At first it seemed harmless enough--they decided to greet each other in the halls at the Jr. High as siblings. Of course, during the same time period that Andrew is telling people he's Melissa's brother, he's also telling everyone that he's Justin Beeber, so I'm not all that concerned. Who's going to believe him, right?
I'll tell you who. The journalism teacher. It seems that Andrew & Melissa showed up for sibling yearbook photos. So when Amy stopped at the Jr. High to pick up Ryan (who teaches there), she was introduced to the journalism teacher. "Are you a part of the Hoffman-Jensen family, then?" "Um, no. My parents aren't divorced. But wait, who's the Jensen?" "Tammy Jensen, who married a Hoffman." "She's our neighbor, but . . . " and bit by bit, the truth came out. They lied. And the picture won't go in the yearbook!
All I can say is, they didn't get it from me.
(Surprisingly, this character flaw didn't prevent Andrew from being nominated by his teachers to serve in a focus group to report on the school's effectiveness.)
